mattbearcat

i hate the silence in these days too much time to pick my way through my broken pieces as i find the things that built me like the fact that i really want someone to love me but i don't know if i'm worth being loved in the end or how i have a weakness for nice girls named mykala i know i'm a broken vessel but that helps my light get out without a doubt my scars tell my story and my healed wounds tell a far more important story few will ever know when i could be more than a weapon or tool when i wasn't someone's everything but i could be a lot of things like soft and warm and sweet if my life were a story i wouldn't know where to start i'v

She's the sunlight in my eyes The tenderness in my touch The part of me that loves everybody But I'm still bad at goodbyes And she can't stay with me forever Yet I know we'll meet again I can feel her finger prints on my heart They pull me to her always Like she has a gravity all her own Pulling out the best in me as scars fade So I guess you could say she's part of me today Sneaking in for every warm hug And helping me to love the world As she holds onto me all soft and warm And all I want is to hold onto her more That an angel like her would choose me With all my flawed facets Like a jem to scarred to have a place Yet I find her suns

I've had an interesting journey so far with thick skin and a armor plated heart i survived so cold on my good days i was like a terminator following the old ways to fight and kill while remaining still lost and on my worse days i turned into a ghost feeling nothing at all costs needless to say no one got close enough to see the broken pieces in my machinery and the pain always remained like an ache saying it shouldn't be this way yet i was surviving then, not living today i try to lose the armor letting people into see a me few from then would recognize with a bleeding heart that says come here my dear only love no fear embracing the world

i talk to god about you i pray you keep loving the way you've taught me you see i'm more than the broken soldier i became my hands still know that life but i've found so much more than the edge of a knife i like to think you love a lot like god when i'm tired and worn down i think of you pulling me in so hard it almost hurts love no fear only come here my dear kind of love i know you'll always be here for me saying it'll be okay as i get lost in your embrace so i like to think god loves like you that he is just so happy to see everyone as we learn to let that kind of love shine through us and you're such a bright light yet i feel i don't g

i call her love and she still doesn't seem to know how i feel as i can't help but smile when i see her name and we just giggle when we're caught out in the rain she is love the only one to really see me as i walked through shadow and pain yet she remains with a warm heart and beautiful soul she's all i need when she txts me my heart sings to know an angel like her still care about me as butterflies still take my heart by storm she is beautiful when god made her he cursed for the first time she is that beautiful in all her silly quarks and oh how i want to hold her all the more she still saves me as my world falls in she remains to pic

oh how i've missed you from your sweet hazel eyes to your cute little smile it has been too long of a while my dear i miss you terribly i wish you could see your own beauty the way sunlight bounces off your skin and how i wish i could hold you feel you lean into me like there might be something as my time here draws to a close and i'm left wondering if you know how i've always wanted to kiss you curious to how your lips would feel against mine but i am shy and stupid never quite getting close enough yet you've always felt like home like i should always come back to you to see that smile again as you're so surprised you almost cry and wrap y

oh my blue eyed girl half a world away how I wish she were here today I want to feel her hand against mine the gentle touch of her head on my shoulder and oh how I want to hold her my sweet babe I hope you never have to miss me but i'm a soldier praying for war and i'm gonna have to march out the door you have my heart and soul this world gets the rest on me i'm sorry I won't be here for everything i'll be with my brothers out at sea and waiting for you to dream of me so I can make you dizzy running loops through your mind yet i'd rather get lost in your eyes as I lean into kiss your perfect lips drifting with you into utter bliss

if you asked me what i see i'd say the most beautiful girl form your deep deep eyes gentle and shy to the beautiful brown hair i love to fall asleep against yet you change it to no end stop messing up perfection with all your faults and scars guiding you to who you are as i see the protagonist of a story so much better than mine strong and fair, courageous and curious too smart to take a arrow to the knee yet you think you need me a soldier without a cause to follow i'm out of wars to fight yet you know i love you tonight so lay still my dear there is no need to fear my will never break as i walk with you so you're never alone i'd do anythi

Shattered hearts for the war front With blows that are never truly un-done But wouldn’t it be fun Existing as a dog of war again Running with the pack down a path so new Yet reminiscent of days when we weren’t so sharp Days when pain actually meant something Before we broke and made so many jagged edges We were always weapons, the smaller bits just broke away So who am i to say, I’m alive With so many time when i should have died Yet i’m not done here yet I’m marked with works of the heart Every scratch and scar a memory And this battle field’s so unknown Trenches run for miles as i can’t get out Wit

I've missed you so much in these days as we run through my dreams all night just like the good old days before everything when i could still call you mine and find you were always at my side holding on just enough i couldn't slip away i wish you could be here today wrapped in my arms like so long ago when the world wasn't so dark and i could still hold your heart with your kiss at my finger tips promising a time i'd never miss you were the first person i missed falling out of the bliss we made in that hurricane knowing our flame wouldn't be blown out with wind or waves and you know i'd fight for you until the end of every day taking the p